There once was a gerbil named Tony. Now, Tony wasn't like the other gerbils at the pet store. No, Tony was very different. You see, Tony was bent on world domination. That's right, world domination. Tony wanted to be supreme commander of all he surveyed, and more. He didn't like being cooped up in a small cage with a little wheel and a bottle of stale water. He felt that demeaned him. Tony knew from day one that he was meant for greatness. As a baby, he would dream that he was all powerful and omnipotent. He would envision himself atop a mountain of sawdust with no less than four girl gerbils to wait on him paw and paw. Maybe even a guinea pig or two, because you know Tony liked the big girls. But Tony knew that as long was he was stuck inside his cage in the back of the pet store, the world would never be his. Everyday he would see people come in and take the stupid dogs that did nothing but bark and lick themselves day after day. They would take the lazy, good for nothing cats. They would take the fish, birds and even the lizards. But not Tony.
"Why does nobody want me?" Tony would ask himself every night as he would cry himself to sleep. Then one day, a little boy came into the pet store. The little boy was full of energy and excitement. He was running all over the store looking at all the animals. Then the little boy came to the Hamster/Gerbil section and Tony felt his little heart beat faster. "Is this it?" He asked himself. "Is this the one who would help me escape from this metal hell hole?"
Tony quickly worked to get himself presentable. He groomed his fur. He removed all the sawdust from this food dish and in a flash covered his droppings. He ran to the bars of his cage and look both sad and excited at the same time. The little boy stopped right in front of Tony's cage. He had a huge smile on his face.
"Mommy, mommy. This is the one I want," he said pointing right at Tony. Tony was about to burst with excitement. Finally, his time had come. He had been working on his plan for months on how to escape once some poor unsuspecting human decided to choose him. The little boys mother came over and looked at Tony.
"Billy, are you sure this is the one you want?" She asked him. Tony wanted to punch her in the face. With the same huge smile on his face, Billy said "Yeah. He's cool." So the little boys mother picked up Tony's cage and began walking towards the check out. Tony's muscles were about to snap he was so tense. He had placed himself into the position he had planned on and readied himself for his escape. The little boy's mother payed the man at the checkout and went to grab Tony's cage.
"No mommy, let me carry him," Billy exclaimed.
"Okay, but don't drop him."
"I won't mommy."
Billy took hold of the handle on the cage and walked to the door with his mother. Tony was so preoccupied with making his escape work, that he took no notice of all the things that were beyond the pet shop's front door.
As she opened the door, Tony's plan came to a head. As he knew would happen, the little boy put his finger in the cage to pet Tony. That's when Tony made his move. He took hold of the little boy's finger and bit down as hard as he could. Billy screamed and dropped the cage. Tony braced himself the stop.
SLAM
The cage hit the ground and the door popped open. Tony ran like a bat out of hell.
"Free. I'm free. After all this time, I'm finally free."
Tony ran a few feet and stopped. He turned around to take one last look at his former prison. He lifted his little paw to flip them the bird, but before he could get his little finger up,
SPLAT
A passing truck ran him over. Tony never knew what hit him. The moral of the story. A little gerbil can't rule the world. No matter how big the dream.
