Ladies and Gentlemen. The following bout has a 45 minute time limit and is for the undisputed World Hypocrisy Championship of the world. In this corner, wearing the blue and yellow camo, standing 7'8", weighing in at 268 pounds, hailing from Boston, Mass, John "Candidate Waffles" Kerry.
| "In the Senate four years, and that is the full extent of public life, no international experience, no military experience. You can imagine what the advertising is going to be next year. When I came back from Vietnam in 1969 I don't know if John Edwards was out of diapers then. Well, I'm sure he was out of diapers" |
| "I think the American people want an experienced hand at the helm of state, this is not the time for on-the-job training in the White House on national security issues" |
| "Edwards says heÂ’s the only one who can win states in the South. He can't win his own state" |
| "Below is John Edwards MAJOR economic address, where he promises to reward work and to create opportunity. There's one thing missing from this speech: TRADE. Apparently, cracking down on unfair trade practices and promoting fair and balanced trade was not a priority to John Edwards just eight months ago. Mr. Johnny Come Lately on Trade" |
| "If his intent is to remove special interests from Washington, why has he, as a member of the Judiciary Committee, taken more than $11 million from lawyers and law firms?" |
And his opponent. Wearing the blue with black trim, standing 6'3, weighing in at 230 pounds, hailing from Seneca, South Carolina, John "Baby Face" Edwards.
| "Do you believe that change is more likely to be brought about by someone who has spent 20 years in Washington or by someone who is more of an outsider to this process?" |
| "In order to beat Bush, we need a nominee who can win Southern states, not another New Englander or Washington insider who loses every Southern state" |
| "I myself have been against NAFTA because of the damage it's doing to our economy, against the other trade agreements that I don't believe incorporate fair trade elements that need to be there. That's the difference between Senator Kerry and myself. And I think these differences will become clearer and clearer as the race focuses on the two of us" |
| "If we want real change in America, real change in Washington, itÂ’s my belief that it takes somebody that's not a Washington insider to do that" |
| "In 1969, I was sitting around a kitchen table with my parents trying to figure out how we would pay for college like so many Iowans do every single day. And that is a difference between me and Senator Kerry" |
Oh, ladies and gentlemen, this has been a very brutal fight. There's teeth and blood everywhere. Wait a minute, something's happening. It looks like the two rivals are hugging in the middle of the right. It seems "Baby Face" is raising the hand of "Waffles". Ladies and Gentlemen, it looks like these two once bitter rivals have joined together to form a tag team. Wait, "Waffles" and "Baby Face" are taking the mic.
| "Bush Is Evil" |
There you have it ladies and gentlemen. The newly formed team of Kerry and Edwards who are now calling themselves "New America". Me personally, I like America just the way it is.
Credit: NewsMax
The Only Thing Necessary For Evil To Triumph
Is For Good Men To Do Nothing
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