When I Am King

Bacon will be the national food, because bacon makes everything better.

Everyone will be required to know Star Trek.

The game we call "Football" will be renamed to it's proper name, "Throwball" and the game we call "Soccer" will be renamed to it's proper name "Football".

Flash will be outlawed because it is the bane of my online existence.

Nobody will be allowed to become famous for making a sex tape or getting arrested.

Game shows that try to call themselves "reality" will be banned.

Television shows that I like will not be canceled.

Kids will be rarely seen and never heard.

Every bikini will have to be approved by me :-). It's good to be king.

Instruction manuals will be less complicated than the blueprints for a nuclear power station.

The penny will be eliminated.

The 80's will be declared "The Coolest Decade Of All Time".