A Scottish football(soccer) player was given a caution for blessing himself before a game. "When he touched his forehead, I was sooooo offended." But seriously, six months?
A Texas college student tried to board a plane with dynamite. I swear, I thought they were candles.
A Minnesota man agrees to a DNA test to prove his innocence in string of burglaries. But tests proves guilt of rape. You mean they can test for that as well? Damn.
The fourth annual Ram Groping contest was held in Iceland. Oh, you were milking it alright...but it wasn't a female.
A drunk Pirate is running for Congress. Gives new meaning to "Vote Or Die".
Man's tumor turns out to be twin brother. You ever seen "Total Recall". Kuato.
English burglar was foiled by man in Texas who was watching him on a webcam. Blimey.
A 12-year-old girl wins big at church gambling. Including a new car. Come on seven, mama needs a new training bra.
A group of men start a fight in Florida over the skills of mowing the lawn. Don't mess with a man's grass cutting skills. We take pride in our lawns.
Exotic dancers banned from performing at funerals in China. There's a stiff joke to be made here, but not by me.
The city of Chicago will try to give geese diarrhea to keep them from making a mess in the park. Does anyone else see the flaw in this plan?
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Footie
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