Sunday, December 3, 2006

In Case You Missed It

Before we get started this week, I have to let you know that I think this is the best batch of stories I've posted. All of these people deserved the Darwin Award.

A California man was electrocuted while trying to steal the copper wiring from a vacant building. Hey, copper's can sell for $3+/pound is some areas. So what if I get the shit shocked out of me.

A Colorado man was sentenced to 27 years for breaking into people's homes and asking to smell and lick their feet. That's just nasty right there.

An Arizona man was arrested after he robbed a bank and then proceeded to drive into a building full of police and firefighters. Here's a tip. If the parking lot is full of cop cars, it's probably a good idea to head in that direction after robbing a band.

I think the title of the article says it all. N.Y. Man Accused Of Spray Painting Goats Genitals.

Ever wanted to know the definition of irony? Well this story and this story will pretty well define it for you.

An Australian woman was arrested for biting a cop who was attempting to arrest her for drunk driving. Oh, she also happened to be the wife of the District Court Judge.

A drunk Louisiana priest was arrested for firing a rifle in the air, threatening a store clerk and kicking a deputy in the groin. I couldn't thing of a joke for this one.

The Best Criminal Of All Time.

An man in Ontario, Canada was hit by a train while jogging on the railroad tracks. How do you not hear a train coming. I mean, it's not like it runs silent or something.

Now my favorite part of the program.

The runner up for the Darwin Award is Charles Sibindana from Vereeniging, South Africa. Mr. Sibindana didn't feel like going into work one day so he faked a note from the doctor. Not all that uncommon. But it was the doctor the ailment that set off the warning signs. It seems Mr. Sibindana faked a note from a gynaecologist stating that he was pregnant and needed some time off. I don't think I could add to that even if I wanted to.

And the winners of the Darwin Award are James Walter Quick and Richard Allen Johnson of Lexington, S.C. James and Rich were were sitting around, watching some football, drinking so beer, yep, alcohol was involved, and decided to place a $20 bet on the game. Rich lost and refused to pay. Well, James was understandably upset. I mean, $20 is $20. So he goes to his truck and gets his gun, as any rational man would. He then demands the money. Rich refuses and says, "You can't shoot me, I'm invisible." Guess what, he wasn't.

1 comments:

Fistandantalus said...

Sadly, some of these people vote.