Monday, February 12, 2007

Damn Teeth Pullers

Below is a list of the 10 11 things I learned after going to the dentist today for a cleaning.

1. The dentist is still hot. Sexist, I know, but she's very easy on the eyes.

2. Dentists apparently get hungry during the day. Her stomach is maybe 3" from my ear and it was rumbling through most of the cleaning.

3. If you pump enough novicaine into your gums, you'll stay numb through most of the afternoon and early evening. My appointment was at 2pm and it's now 6:30 and it's just now starting to wear off.

4. It's almost impossible to eat or drink anything when one side of your face is dead. And the drooling? Forget about it. And just try saying the letter F when your lip's numb.

5. Laying in the dental chair for over an hour is VERY uncomfortable. My back and neck were screaming at me.

6. The dentist is EXPENSIVE. $168 just to clean the upper right section of my mouth. I still have two more to go plus a couple of extractions.

7. Those glasses make the dentist look like Burgess Meredith.

8. The dental office needs to put more things on the ceiling to read. The ABC's of caring is getting old.

9. The dentist can get very forceful when they're trying to maneuver around your lips. I thought she was going to pull the damn thing off.

10. I want something other than Raspberry flavored numbing gel. How about peach or watermelon?

I forgot one.

11. I'm claustrophobic. The dentist had to place a towel over my face so the water from the instrument she was using would splash all over my face. I couldn't take that very long. If I'd left it on any longer I would have started to hyperventilate.


Anonymous said...

It's almost impossible to eat or drink anything when one side of your face is dead.
Actually it just takes a few days practice... and you only had a few hours.

Anonymous said...

I hate it when the dentist breathes in your nose. I hate breathing other people's expelled air. It's this weird tick I have. I'll hold my breath for until I turn blue rather than breathe in the dentist's breath. Gross.

Christopher Lee said...

Wait, your dentist doesn't wear a mask?

Anonymous said...

I'm 34 years old and had my first filling last week (I looked after my teeth). All the 'horror stories' about 'what dentists do' had me a little worried, but it was not a problem, I didn't feel a thing, not even with the multiple needles into the back corner of my jaw/gum, or high-speed drilling. All good.
Although I did manage to drool all-over myself, until the 'local' wore off, that was a good look, on public transport.