Praise Be To Jesus

Political prisoner Paris Hilton has finally been released from jail. After serving three horrible weeks in a maximum security prison where she was forced to do hard labor, Ms. Hilton was all smiles as she was chauffeured home. Ms. Hilton was originally scheduled to give her first post-prison interview to CNN's Larry King, but I was able to finagle that prize myself. Enjoy.

Me: Ms. Hilton, how does it feel to finally be free?
Paris: It's hot.

Me: Okay. How was life in the big house? 22 days is an awful long time to be away from friends and family.
Paris: It wasn't hot. There was no one to make my bed for me or take my picture.

Me: Uh...okay. So, what are you plans now that you're out? Do you plan on furthering your newly found spiritual side or perhaps starting a charity program to help young kids who've made the same mistakes you've made in life?
Paris: Jesus is hot. He like, turned water in to wine or something. I'm going to have to invite him to my next party.

Me: Thank you Ms. Hilton.
Paris: ....