Saturday, January 10, 2009

Who Stands Up For The Man?

A couple of friends of mine are having a baby in February and it got me to thinking. When a Woman is pregnant all we hear about is what she's going through. Her pain, her suffering. How come nobody talks about what us guys go through? We suffer right along with you ladies, in our own way. If it's not sympathy pains, it's in other ways. Whether you all know it or not, when you get pregnant your moods change on a dime. One minute your horny and the next you're ready to kill us because we're breathing too heavy while we're ten feet away. We also have to go through your strange food cravings. Pickles on Saltines. An apple pie from that bakery 300 miles away because they're only ones who can do it right. And God help you if the crust isn't the right shade of brown. We have to sit in the background while everyone talks about how good you look. We don't get any of that attention. And don't get me started on morning sickness or people telling us "you have to watch the birth". No I do not. When it comes to pregnancy, Men are the forgotten fighters. It's time someone stands up and speaks for us. And while I don't speak from experience, as I'm not a father, I do watch TV so I know how it works.

I shouldn't have to put this, but I'm afraid I do. This post is meant as a joke. Don't nobody go getting all upset with me over it.


Jean said...

OMG - if this wasn't funny. I had four kids back in the day when fathers couldn't be in the delivery room - my husband was always in the cafeteria when I was delivering. Then there was the time when I was full-blown pregnant and he went fishing on the Cape Cod Canal and left his fish smelling long rubber wadding thingies hanging where the smell made me puke - or the time when he decided to bar-b-q baloney on an indoor spit - made me spit alright. I use to love fried baloney - no more.

I do have sympathy for fathers, and yes, we can be bitches, but you would too if you had something growing inside your bodies, and you legs gave out because the sweet little things were right on your nerves, and how many trips do you have to make to the pot to pee - an open pathway to the pot is absolutely necessary.

But, what in the world brought this subject up anyhow? And anyhow, it's all over once that sweet thing is born - right!