A York, PA man walked into a grocery store and stole bags of shrimp by putting them down his pants. There's a "small object in his pants" joke to be made, but not by me.
Santa Claus caught having gay sex in a public park. Looks like Comet came over and helped Santa find a Prancer. He wasn't much of a Dancer but he sure was a Dasher when the police showed up.
Perfume laced with human urine is being sold on the streets of Manchester, England. Honey, is that a new musk you're wearing?
Thirty illegals were arrested after they were found in a van made up to look like a Border Patrol van. No joke with this one.
A Bowling Green, Ohio girl's broken bra caused a car wreck. One of the most bizarre stories I've ever read.
A Washington state man crashed his car to get away from the man who was trying to abduct him.
Introducing the battery powered battery charger. Isn't that like a double standard or a conflict of interest or something?
A piece of scum father-to-be tries to put a hit out on his unborn child.
A Tae-Kwon-Do instructor goes head-to-head with a black bear. The funny thing? It was the second time this had happened. Suck on that, Jackie Chan.
A 62-year-old Nevada man eats 247 Jalapenos in eight minutes at the Texas State Fair. Old people rule.
And the winner of this weeks Darwin Award is, David L. Bennett of Vero Beach, Fla. Mr. Bennett was sitting in his car when a police man came up and shined his light in. He takes off knocking the office to the ground. The police chase him and finally catch him. Mr. Bennett's excuse for running from the police? He saw a bag of marijuana in his lap and tought it was a bomb someone had thrown into his car. I have to admit, that's a good one you crazy monkey.