Sunday, October 22, 2006

In Case You Missed It

Scientists are working on a television that will allow viewers to actually smell their favorite television shows. In an unrelated story, executives over at the Food Network have bought 3,000 cases of champagne and balloons.

A badass pizza shop burglar in Woodland, California left behind an important piece of equipment when he ran from the alarm. His toy cow flashlight. Dennis The Menace is being sought for questioning.

An elder couple in Chino, California had a hole ripped in their room and their bed destroyed by a piece of frozen crap. Crap from the sky. Holy Crap? I know it was ice, but frozen poop's funnier.

A Michigan man was arrested, again, for breaking into a store to steal a mannequin
. Dude, they have things called Real Dolls* now.

This one speaks for itself.

Cows in Canada are being used to test defective high-voltage lines. That's what they say, but the truth is that McDonalds is testing out their new McElectro burger.

1 out of 5 British children can't find the U.K. on the map. I thought Americans were the dumbest people on the planet?

In what may be the strangest story ever, an elderly Japanese man was spotted dragging a turtle down the street by a string. When confronted by police, Matsuhashi-san kicks the turtle and bite the cop. Something tells me Sake was involved.

The runner up for this weeks Darwin Award is this unidentified Arizona man. He needed a cigarette. Dumb in and of itself, but it seems that he was using his Oxygen tank at the time. Well, I think you can guess the rest.

And the winner of this weeks Darwin Award is Brian Murry of Huffman, Texas. Police received a call from a man who said that his brother was cooking meth, had a gun and that he was scared. They went to investigate. Upon finding the home, Brian Murry decides he wants to come out and aim a BB gun at the officers. Cooking meth? -500 IQ points. Aiming a gun a police officers? -2000 IQ points.

*WARNING: Contains adult content.

3 comments:

Anonymous said...

I thought Americans were the dumbest people on the planet?
That's so not a fair competition. The US is more than 14 and a half times larger than the UK.

It'd be more comparable if you asked how many Americans could point out Wyoming or Oregon on an unmarked map.

Anonymous said...

I always thought Aussies were the dumbest people in the world. But alas; thats not fair of me because I only know one. Or just one that continually shows his stupidity. Or am I mistaking stupidity for immaturity? Hard to tell the difference.

Anonymous said...

Yeah, see that's where you and I part ways John. I look at the statistics and actual figures, and you live in a world of your own contradictory imaginings.