Sunday, December 10, 2006

In Case You Missed It

Virginia Governor Tim Kaine has been getting some pretty creepy calls. From ghosts. Have you seen that episode of The Twilight Zone where that old woman kept getting calls from her dead husband? Life imitating art.

This was almost the runner-up for the Darwin Award. An Omaha, Nebraska teen takes a gun to school and accidentally shoots himself in the thigh.

A German man dies in a Singapore jacuzzi when he got stuck on the suction drain. He was found on his stomach. Is anyone else thinking he was trying something very, very naughty with the sucking drain when he got stuck? You know what I'm talking about.

What's one of the things we've learned from these posts over the weeks? Don't mess with old people, right. Well, don't mess with pregnant woman's Christmas decorations either. A pregnant woman in Texas took a baseball bat to a piece of scum who was trying to steal a reindeer from her yard.

I hate PeTA, and here's a perfect example why.

And the runner-up for the Darwin Award is Michael McKean, not the guy from Spinal Tap, of Seminole, Florida. It would appear that Mr. McKean's favorite television show is Barnaby Jones because he likes to drive around pretending he's a police detective. He would drive around in his car that was tricked out to look professional, and warn people over the P.A. system he had installed. Well, Mr. Jones, I mean McKean's luck ran out then he began to tail the wrong car one day. A car with a couple of actual detectives inside.

Now, your all asking yourselves, "Chris, how in the world can it get better than that?' Well, here's how.

The winner of the Darwin Award this week is Vernon Proctor of Sacramento, California. Mr. Proctor is the Assistant Principal at Hiram Johnson High. Here's his story. He walks up to the manager of the motel he was staying in telling him that wanted to file a police report because a woman had just stolen all his valuables. Well, hells bells, I'd want to call the cops as well. But there was a problem. The woman who had robbed him was the prostitute he'd rented for the evening and when police arrived they found Mr. Proctor high as a cat on nip.