Random Thoughts 28

This is an early piece of "artwork" that I did for a forum I use to belong to.

Why is my microwave so pushy? Yeah, I heard you the first time. You don't need to keep beeping every few seconds. Yeesh.

Why are some so obsessed with being "First" when posting comments to sites? Check out trekmovie.com to examples.

That ignorant VH1 show Tool Academy proves life isn't fair.

I only did bad jokes once, maybe twice, before. I think we need some more

Bad Joke 1
Why couldn't the faucet be within 100 feet of the pasta bowl?
There was a restraining order

Have you seen those Gamefly.com comercials where the guys are freaking out and crying because they're playing a crappy game? Yo, that shit is real. I don't how many controllers I've busted because of games like that. Sometimes developers just put some stupid stuff in these games that makes absolute no sense

A 4GB MP3 player doesn't hold a much as you would think

I love baked chicken. With a little kosher salt and Season All. Yum

Bleating and babbling we fell on his neck with a scream.
Wave upon wave of demented avengers
March cheerfully out of obscurity into the dream.

Twitter really is the perfect invention for our "do it now, 2 minute microwave meal, broadband, 30 seconds is too long" world we live in

$1600 for shoes? Kiss my ass

Bad Joke 2
What do you call epileptic lettuce?
Seizure salad.

Why do people read tabloids? I personally can't stand them. Whether is the National Enquirer or People magazine. They make me sick to my stomach

I hate earbud headphones. They're too big for my ears so they hurt and they don't keep outside sound out so you have to crank the music up just to hear it. I like my noise cancelling headphones. Yeah, they're bulky but they sound great and I can't hear you when you try to talk to me

We've come a long, long way together, through the hard times and the good. I have to celebrate you baby, I have to praise like I should

Now on DVD and Blu-Ray. Well, isn't Blu-Ray a DVD? It's digital, isn't it? It's versatile, or it's a video if that's what you like, and it's on a disk. Therefore it's a DVD. It's like Apple vs. PC. An Apple is a PC

Some people just aren't happy unless they're complaining about something

Smarties may be the best candy ever made

Bad Joke 3
Why do fish live in saltwater?
Pepper makes them sneeze.

Emily tries, but misunderstands
She's often inclined to borrow somebody's dreams until tomorrow

As of this writing, it is September 9, 2009 10:28 am

http://tinyurl.com/lct6w3

5 Things I Don't Understand
1. Women
2. How a car works
3. How people eat Mushrooms
4. Why my hair refuses to grow right & why I can't grow a beard
5. The popularity of The Eagles

I know we're not supposed to watch NBC and support GE and Jeffrey Immelt, but I need to watch SVU, Chuck and Heroes. I need to watch my shows on USA and Syfy. There are just some sacrifices I'm not ready to make just yet.

Why doesn't Firefox save it's cache so that when it crashes you don't have to load everything again?

Bad Joke 4
What was a trick the loaf of bread taught the dog?
Heel.

Random Thoughts 27

FNC has the hottest women on tv

Who are you, and who am I
To say we know the reason why
Some are born some men die
Beneath one infinite sky
There'll be war there'll be peace
But everything one day will cease
All the iron turn to rust
All the proud men turn to dust

Five Things I Love
1. Water - It quenches my manly thirst
2. Music - Music is life
3. Sci Fi Movies - Geek, Geek, Geek
4. Boobs - God's greatest creation
5. Arsenal FC - Gooner 'Till I Die

Five Things I Hate
1. Hip-Hop - Some Rap I like. Rap in the 80's I can tolerate, but that new crap? No
2. Storms - Never liked them
3. Dial Up - Slow as Hell
4. Mowing The Lawn - It's HOT during the Summer
5. Games Shows That Call Themselves "Reality Shows". (ex. American Idol, Survivor, anything on MTV or VH1, etc..) - Stupid people trying for their 15 minutes of fame that they think they're entitled to. Please, someone stop VH1

http://tinyurl.com/djefge

If a new 360 game costs, say, $49 then a used copy of that same game that I get at Gamestop should be at least $10 cheaper

Remember when "Weird Al" was good? He sucks, for the most part, today. But it's not his fault. It's the crappy music that's out there

If I were ever to record an album, I'd want it to be produced by Alan Parsons

If I were to ever see a T-Rex coming for me, ala Jurassic Park, I don't think I would run. No, because I'd be dead of a heart attack long before my brain could send the "run for your life, stupid" signal to my legs

Why do Mr. Goodbar's taste like a Skunk smells?



With bands like Airbourne and Crooked X, Huey Lewis was right when he sang "Now the old boy may be barely breathing, but the heart of rock and roll is still beating"

Where can I get me some Hills Angles?
Benny Hill Theme Song

Do any of the Dugger girls ever wear pants? All I ever see them in are long skirts. And does anyone in the family wear t-shirts?

The coolest power on "Heroes" was Peter Petrelli's, before he lost it. Being able to absorb others powers by just being near them. How cool would that be. You could fly, make things move with the wave of your finger, stop and travel through time, be invisible, control people with your thoughts and a thousand other cool things. Dude, you'd be the über Jedi

Hamburger Helper is a bachelor's best friend

Random Thoughts 26

You run and you run, to catch up with the sun, but it's sinking.
Shorter of breath, and one day closer to death

Obama fancies himself the second coming of Lincoln? More like Carter

Jack Black is an idiot

Hey, FSC. There are more teams out there than Man Ure


Did you know that electronic companies purposely release inferior products so we have to replace them every couple of years?

Just because it's eatable doesn't mean is should be eaten

I, believe, in miracles
I believe in a better world for me and you


"Damn your red hide, woman"

Why do stores have 20 different checkout areas when only 2-3 actually have someone manning them?

World Cup 2010. USA, USA, USA to get past the first round this time

http://tinyurl.com/dgs467

I hate acronyms. In this internet age we've become so damn lazy that we can't even spell out words anymore? WTF?

Don't leave false illusions behind
Don't cry I ain't changing my mind
So find another fool like before
Cos I ain't gonna live anymore believing
Some of the lies while all of the sign are deceiving

Music in the 80's ruled while music in the 90's sucked. A bunch of whiny little bitches

I wish I were brave enough to shave or dye my hair

We all know the neo-Nazi RIAA has deemed downloading music from the internet a crime, but what about sending songs through snail mail?

MP3 Is Not A Crime

The trailer park is the White man's ghetto

Why doesn't Netflix automatically give you the bonus DVD with a movie you rent?

Turn off my robotic brain, all my thoughts are the same

The videos for Herbie Hancock's Rockit and Genesis's Land Of Confusion freaked me out as a kid. Matter of fact, they still kinda do. And I still can't watch Michael Jackson's Thriller video

Remember when 1.44mb disks were big enough to hold what you needed them to hold? Now we need at least a 2gb flash drive

Rob Halford may have the best voice in music

Random Thoughts XXV

Are You Smarter Than A 5th Grader? Sadly, no. No I'm not

Have you ever been so angry that you just started laughing and couldn't help it?

I could murder a can of Root Beer right now

I'm gonna be leavin' at the break of dawn
wish you could come but I don't need no woman taggin' along

While he may be a psycho nut living in his own messed up world, Michael Jackson did make some great music in the 80's. That can't be denied

Speaking of which, when did the 1980's become part of History class in school? I'm getting old

November 24, 7:10 am

http://tinyurl.com/a53l27

Why do I hate the idea of protest songs so much?

You believe at heart everyone's a killer

Who You Gonna Call?

Edy's Fruit Bars are GOOD. Grape or even Strawberry, but stay away from Lime

Let "Big Brother" watch, so long as he doesn't interfere

I hate it when they don't put blooper reels on DVDs. It's kinda cheap

I wish Yahoo Mail would add more color options and that Gmail would add any

http://tinyurl.com/73ou79

December 13, 6:15 pm

Chained forever to a world that's departed

How did the term "Google" become a verb?

Why does my local radio station play so much Elton John?

There's nothing sadder than an old hippy that can't let go. The 60's are over. Live in the now and let the past stay there

Another local station plays 80's music on Saturday nights. Back from when MTV was good. In fact, I'm listening to it right now. It's, like, so Totally Rad



I don't do complements very well. I always feel uncomfortable when I receive one

It's Pink Floyd, it doesn't have to make sense

I wonder how many of these people who wear a Ramones shirt have never actually heard a Ramones song

Random Thoughts XXIV

AC/DC's new album, Black Ice, debuted at #1 in 29 countries including the U.S. Their first album to do so here. If you haven't picked it up yet, do so. Their best work.

Family Guy is NOT funny. At All. Period. Why it's still on is beyond me

Women, if you want something from us or want us to do something just tell us. Don't hint at it. We're not wired to get hints

Does anyone else miss TechTV? G4 sucks and Attack Of The Show is stupid

I hate peppers and onions

I need a new keyboard and mouse

It's September 22, 2008 and it's 6:14 pm

Sacha Baron Cohen is an idiot

Why is science so dangerous? One mistake while doing an experiement and BOOM, you're dead

http://tinyurl.com/5ohguc

I'm sad that Battlestar Galactica is ending soon

I need a new Winter coat and pants

Everybody all around the world, gotta tell you what I just heard
Everybody walkin' down the street, I know a place where we all can meet
Everybody gonna have a good time, everybody will shine till the daylight

Felicia is cute

I like to take things apart, I only wish I could put them back together again

Al Bundy is my hero
National
Organization of
Men
Against
Amazonian
Masterhood

Almost Christmas



I love the smell of coffee, but I can't stand the taste

VH1, please stop with all these stupid "Love" shows. "Flavor Of Love", "I Love New York", "Rock Of Love", "I Love Money", "Real Chance Of Love". For the love of God, please stop. You're making "celebrities" out of the dumbest people on planet Earth.

Soccer is far superior to Throwball

I do a pretty good Scottish impersonation

Never heard of Rammstein? Go pick up their album Mutter

I sit lookin' round
I look at my face in the mirror
I know I'm worth nothing
Without you
In Life, one and one don't make two
One and one make one
And I'm lookin' for
That free ride to me
I'm lookin' for you

Why do women get lost in parking lots? Don't believe me. Go to the mall or a department store or something and watch. You'll see more women walking around looking for their cars than men

T'Pol Williams is due in February

Sonne

It's October 3, 2008 at 6:44 pm

Wait. What?

I need a Mt. Dew

Boobs make everything better

Can you see your days blighted by darkness?
Is it true you beat your fists on the floor?
Stuck in a world of isolation
While ivy grows over the door

I hate wearing shoes

David Gilmour is one of the greatest guitar players of all time

Yoplait Boston Cream Pie yogurt doesn't taste like Boston Cream Pie. It tastes more like bad Piña Colada

I love Jon & Kate Plus 8. I am addicted to this show. Aaden and Hannah are my favorite kids. They remind me so much of myself

I can laugh just like Scooby-Doo

Random Thoughts XXIII

I love Swiss Cheese

I hate Captcha's. Sometimes they're too hard to read

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1046173/
This is an abomination of G.I. Joe

Did you know that when you wash your hands you're supposed to wash them for as long as it takes you to sing Happy Birthday, or about 15 seconds, to make sure they're clean

Anyone remember the British show from the 80's The Young Ones? That was a good show

It's Friday, August, 1 12:20 am

Why is it, in many tv show and movies, the FBI, CIA and other such agencies are shown to be complete morons who can't do anything while the country bumpkin sheriff, who's never dealt with a homicide a day in his life, is portrayed to be the smartest man on the planet and can solve it almost single handily?

I'm just a love machine
And I won't work for nobody but you

Small

Why do people create Firefox add-ons if they don't plan on keeping them up to date?

I love Root Beer

http://tinyurl.com/6garn4

Why do we put so much emphasis on sex? Especially men. Many of us seem to measure our masculinity by how early and often we "do it"

Like Will Ferrell, Frank Caliendo isn't funny. And go ahead and add Dane Cook to that list as well

I hate computers. They're just so aggravating. I swear, one of these days I'm going to turn this damn thing off and never turn it on again

If you're in a car going faster than the speed of light, what happens when you turn on your headlights?

Ain't nothing like good Rock & Roll, I tell you what

Why does everything fun have to be illegal?

Akira Kurosawa made some amazing movies

A small sample of my Christmas header


When did I start getting old?

I have a notepad saved with a list of words I have trouble spelling. Surprisingly, it's only got four words on it

Strawberry milk is good

"Staycation" is the new buzz term? Well, hell, I've been having "staycations" for over 10 years.

It's August 15, 11:51am

http://tinyurl.com/8heo4

Why does Wal-Mart sell movies and video games with cursing but not CD's?

Can you see your days blighted by darkness?
Is it true you beat your fists on the floor?
Stuck in a world of isolation
While ivy grows over the door

Random Thoughts XXII

Why is it OK for women to talk while we're trying to watch something on tv, but if we try to talk while they're watching something they get pissed off?

He who has the remote has the power

There must be some mistake
I didn't mean to let them
Take away my soul
Am I too old is it too late?

Have you checked out my Myspace page? No. Well the link's right in the sidebar

Firefox isn't as totally awesome as people made it out to be a few years ago

It's 12:11 AM on Saturday, March 29

I love doing the Wednesday Hero posts, but sometimes I just don't feel like working one out. Sometimes there's so much info in an article that I can't fit it all into a few paragraphs. Plus, I hate typing

If you're a fan of Pink Floyd's The Wall, you need to pick up their live two disk Is There Anybody Out There: The Wall: Live 1980-1981. It's better than the studio version. Plus, you get two extra songs that were left off the studio version. The Last Few Bricks & What Shall We Do Now. Also, Richard Wright sounds amazing on keyboards on Another Brick In The Wall, Pt. 2. A real funk/R&B sound. The only complaint I have is that the transition from Waiting For The Worms into Stop is better in the studio version. It's more powerful.

Am I the only person who likes ABBA?

I hate time travel. It's too complicated. "Don't touch this bug, it might change the future".

Can you sneeze in your sleep?

What about burp underwater?

What's the point of having a fast car if it can't outrun a cop cruiser?

I don't like thongs

Is it a stereotype if it's true?



Pam Anderson hasn't been hot since she was on Home Improvement

It's 6:28 PM on Tuesday, April 15

Why do cats always look at you like it's your fault? They run across the road infront of your car, and then look back at you like you're the idiot who didn't see them.

UFO doesn't mean aliens

Barbecue so good it make you wanna slap ya momma

Time doesn't' really exist. It's just a man made idea. 2pm, 4:37am, 0530 hours. Not real. So you're never actually late or early

Never Eat Shredded Wheat

Random Thoughts XXI

BBBBBBad, BBBBBBad, BBBBBBad, Bad To The Bone. How does George Thurogood do that?

I hate mornings

Why does my dog like to eat stuff off the floor? He finds a piece of lint and you'd think he'd found a steak

Kiss my grits

Have you ever laughed so much that you couldn't phyically laugh any more?

Hollywood. Stop remaking Japanese horror movies. They're not as good

If Avril Lavigne is punk, then I'm a 6' 8" black man

It's not real BBQ unless you come away messy

I am so sick of fake Myspace profiles

What Does Revolution Mean?

Is it really charity if your forced to do it?

Doctors. If you're a guy, and have long hair, cut it. I don't trust a male doctor with long hair

One reason I like Soccer better than Football. It doesn't take 4 freakin' hours to play a game. The whistle blows and 90 minutes, plus a 20 minute half time break, and it's over. None of this go 1 yard, stop, go another yard, stop crap

How did 13 become known as a "bakers dozen"?

Please stop sending me videos on the web. I'm on dial-up. I can't watch streaming videos from YouTube

If you have a stuffed up nose, and something scares you why does your nose all of a sudden become clear?

I'm the man on the outside looking in

Shipping & Handling is where QVC bites you in the ass

Hey you, would you help me to carry the stars?
Open your heart, I'm coming home

Is it Lasagne or Lasagna? Because I've seen it spelled both ways

Men. If you're over 30, take the earing out. It looks dumb

Here's something I can't figure out. You put clothes in the dryer, you put a dryer sheet in with them. You take the clothes out and the dryer sheet's gone. How does that happen?

Why do we still need the penny? The price of everything should end in a 0 or 5, after taxes. No more counting out those damn little things

Why is it always the Vulcan's who are immune to everything? Is their physiology really that different from ours?

Random Thoughts XX - Wow, Has It Really Been 20?

You know, after something like 20 of these things, if you'll remember I messed up on the counting a few posts back, it still amazes me that I can continue to come up with so much crap to post. Anyway, on with the post.

God is a man. Why? Two words. Women's Tanktop

Red Eye is a great show

No one understands me but my mouse and keyboard

So, so you think you can tell, Heaven from hell?
Blue skies from pain?
Can you tell a green field, from a cold steel rail?
A smile from a veil?
Do you think you can tell?
Watch the performance on the Pulse DVD and it'll give you chills

Green M&M's taste better than the red ones

History shows, again and again, how nature points out the folly of man

Ladies, unless there is something seriously wrong with your breasts you don't need implants. There's not a damn thing wrong with an A cup

Why is a peanut butter & jelly sandwich such great comfort food?

Have you ever been in a funk and just needed that one reason to keep going, but that reason never comes?

Why is sound amplified at night?

How did KISS gain such a massive fan base when they don't have very many good songs?

I Hate Summer

http://tinyurl.com/34rwkw
http://tinyurl.com/bwk
http://tinyurl.com/3b5q8y

Almost Christmas

I want to be as cool as David Gilmour, circa 1974

I come in my front door yesterday, August 13, from the grocery store and left it open to bring the bags in. It was so hot that the heat coming through actually caused my smoke alarm to go off

Charlie 6th Avenue. Look them up

Same goes for ThundHerStruck

Rock & Roll Ain't Noise Pollution

How come big and tall ads never show big guys? It's always fit and trim models

Nothing like a good Saturday morning game of footie

FLFM QBD TPPK

Hey, cable news, I get the 24/hr news concept. I do. But if you're not telling us anything new about the story you don't need to stay with a story hour after hour.

Did you know that Duct Tape is good for everything except duct work?

Have you ever been looking into a mirror, try to close one eye but close the other one instead?



You know that weird Uncle that everyone in the family talks about? Right here, baby. I'm such a stereotype

Alina Vacariu and Keeley Hazell are HOT

Eric Clapton's Sessions For Robert J. is one of the finest albums ever recorded

Ain't No Fun Waiting Round to Be a Millionaire

I got a fever. And the only prescription... is more cowbell!The only funny thing Will Ferrell was ever involved with

There is something damn sexy about the Borg Queen

I don't know if it's the slimey skin, the cold eyes, the long neck or maybe it's the tubes coming out of her head

I love gift cards

I'm tired of people, website developers mainly, who assume everyone has broadband. Well, we don't. Only about half of the people in this country with internet access have broadband.

Random Thoughts XIX

I said God damn,
God, God damn the pusher man

Why do brownies taste so good?

How do headbangers do it? I thrash for more than 30 seconds and my neck is killing me for days

The butterflies will hatch their plan in October

You know you're getting old when you begin longing for the "good old days"

Why does a fresh cut lawn give a man such a sense of satisfaction

Five time a day is tearin' my ass up

Have you ever tried to stop a page from loading but it won't. You keep hitting the key over and over, but nothing happens. Then, you look down, and DUH, you're hitting F5 instead of Esc

CX7300

Have you ever given anyone a dutch oven

Speaking of which. Have you ever ripped one that smelled so bad you were proud of it

Guys. Please stop using pictures of yourself without a shirt as a profile pic. You look stupid

Does anyone, besides me, still collect those state quarters

Why does it take so long for gas prices to go down when they can go up by 10 cents overnight

Seven of Nine, Tertiary Adjunct of Unimatrix Zero-One

Have you ever noticed that when you're sick you, for some reason, can't remember what it's like to not be sick? And for some guys, we don't think we'll ever be well again

Don't want me any of that harder stuff
Don't need it any more
I'm in Hell and I'm sinking fast
And I don't need no cure

You ever sneeze and lose what comes out? You know it didn't fall to the ground because you didn't see it fly. It's not on your shirt, arm or hand. Then, a week later, you find it in your mustache

Why does meatloaf taste better the next day

Sammy Hagar is better as a solo artist than with Van Halen

5 hours in a day. That would be awesome

Why do some men still insist on using the terms "babe" or chick"? I mean, "sweetcheeks" is so much better

I love Whites who can "sympathize with the plight of minorities"

Have you ever bought an album based on just one song? Sometimes it pays off and sometimes it doesn't

Do you believe in miracles? You should. How else do you explain Will Ferrell's success? It sure ain't talent.

Why is radio better at night than during the day

Ladies, do you want to know how really perverted men are? I'll tell you. When we see even a picture of a woman in a skirt, we'll try to move our heads around to see if we can see anything. Or is that just me?

I love bologna sandwiches

Random Thoughts XVIII: I'm Legal Baby

Happiness is a full stomach and an empty colon

Rock and Roll ain't noise pollution
Rock and Roll ain't gonna die
Rock and Roll ain't no pollution
Rock and Roll is just Rock and Roll

Today is February 24, 2007

Why am I the only one who knows how to properly load the dishwasher?

I hate fake Myspace profiles

Why do some women have extremely hairy forearms? That's weird

Are women really smarter than men? I don't think so. They do the same stupid things we do, except they:
A) Won't admit it
B) Don't tape themselves doing it

After a year of growing, I cut my hair yesterday. I finally had to admit to myself that it wasn't working. I'm sad

It should be illegal to be as hot as Halle Berry

If there's one thing I've learned in life, it's this. Don't mess with a Wookie

Call 1-800-Steamer. Stanley Steamer Makes Carpets Cleaner

I want to ride in a convertible just one time before I die

Why are some people so offended by peeing in the shower? What's the big deal. It's running water that's going down the drain. Let 'er rip.

http://tinyurl.com/2ybcjb

Damn monkey stole my phone

Why do keep forgetting to put deodorant on after a shower? Believe me, I can't afford to do that

I'm starting to reach an age where I need a nap during the day

Along those same lines. I remember when I was actually able to stay up all night. I even looked forward to it. Now? I'm lucky if I can make 2am

Showering everyday? Sounds like Liberal propaganda to me

Why do kids look so dopey in glasses?

Hizzy Hell Yeah!!!

Water always tastes better after a mint or brushing your teeth

Why do so many Conservatives like Law & Order: SVU? The show doesn't like us, yet we keep going back week after week for more.

Don't you hate it when you you're thinking about doing something, you space out for just a single second, and forget what you going to do?

I've had the same wallet for almost 10 years now and it still smells brand new

Why do I sometimes spell "and" as "adn" or "the" as "teh" when I type?

We're so pretty
Oh so pretty, we're vacant

I love listening to sports fans who think they know more than the players, coaches or officials

Is a car battery REALLY more powerful than the 9V in my smoke detector? I think not

If you're going to get a tattoo of Chinese script, make sure you speak that dialect.
"Thank you. It means Peace and Respect."
"Oh, so sorry please, but it means 'Man With IQ Of 30.'"



Why do people who were born in the U.S., who speak perfect English, suddenly get all ethnic when saying a name from a different race? Spanish is the worse. You get a newscaster reporting on the fire at Juan Diego Pablo's House Of Tacos and all of a sudden he's from Villa Juarez even though he was born in Bolder, Colorado.

I'm a good cook, but get me near that oven to bake something and I'm lost

It's March 5, 2007

The man who invented the chili cheese fry should have his birthday celebrated

I thought they stopped making Pudding Pops

Random Thoughts XVII: I Get To Vote Next Time

Can someone please explain these stupid white kids who take pictures of themselves flashing fake gang signs or upside down peace symbols calling themselves "gangsta", because I don't get it. You take the little bastards and place them in a real "gangsta" situation and they'll be crying for mommy withing 3 minutes.

Why are there no good radio stations anymore?


Tara King was good, but she wasn't no Mrs. Emma Peel

Oklahoma turns 100 in November.

I am such a stereotype

Smokehouse Blues

http://tinyurl.com/3cr7x
http://tinyurl.com/6bfhk

I could never be a vegetarian. Animals taste too good

Rock on, Kitty

I always thought Bob Seger would have a deeper speaking voice

I love cobbler. Peach cobbler. Apple cobbler. Blueberry cobbler. Cherry cobbler

I hate when someone doesn't post a Thank You when you add them to your Myspace friends list. And speaking of Myspace, I also hate it when someone sets their profile to Private. Pisses me off



Why do some tend to think that "groundbreaking" and "cutting edge" mean offensive?

I'm in love and her name's Shelby

Born In Time

$40!!!! Are You Joking?!?!?!?

I hate ass pimples

God bless the man that invented the bikini. He should have a school named after him

Battlestar Fracking Rulez!!!

I Am Man, Hear Me Roar
Cause After A Plate Of Beans You Can't Ignore

Why does Chief Auto Parts insist on pulling his dress up? Don't nobody want to see that

Songs I never get tired of:
Back In Black
Sin City
Stairway To Heaven
Comfortably Numb
Carol Of The Bells
Burning Love
Skinwalker
Hey Jude
Let It Be
Tuesday Afternoon
Mustang Sally
Behind Blue Eyes
Long Live Rock
Love Reign O'Er Me



Jealousy doesn't become you

Big money, big money, big money, no wammies.... STOP

It's the terror of knowing
What this world is about
Watching some good friends
Screaming let me out

Random Thoughts: Sweet XVI?

As I was searching through the archives I noticed that my count is wrong on these posts. I call this one 16, but I actually have no idea what number it is. I've missed numbers, doubled some and had some back when I was on Modblog. But I'm going with 16 anyway.

I have become comfortably numb

Forget Crack, Bejeweled and Chuzzle are the most addictive things on the planet

Why do we have that little indentation on our upper lip? And what the hell is it called?

http://tinyurl.com/yftlug

Deep Space Nine rocks

Only 24 days until Christmas

Jesus Done Left Chicago, And He's Bound For New Orleans

I have this one hair that grows under my right eye. Strangest thing I've ever seen

Velveta Rules!!!!

Blonde, Brunette, Redhead? Decisions, decisions, decisions.

Why are men genetically encoded to look at a woman's butt? We could be holding a conversation, a woman will walk by, and without missing a beat we'll keep talking while our eyes look down. Same with breasts.

Gerontocracy
Noun
Circa 1830
rule by elders; specifically :a form of social organization in which a group of old men or a council of elders dominates or exercises control

Why do radio DJ's with the last name Miller have to use the old Miller Time joke?

Why do small t.v. sets have the A/V plugs in the front?

I love classical music.

I hate shaving.

Anyone else remember the show Small Wonder? How about Werewolf?


GUNNERS!!!!!!

Why are the burned edges of the lasagna the best part of the lasagna?

My hair has finally started to fill out.

Why does a brand new, fresh from the pack, pair of underwear feel so good?

"Obi-wan never told you what happened to your father."
"He told me enough. He told me you killed him."
"No, I am your father."
"No, it's not true! It's impossible"
"Search your feelings, you know it to be true."
"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO"
Funny as hell

Random Thoughts XV

In my last RT post, I forewent the Hummer for a 60" LCD HDTV. Well, after Christmas I'm going to try and put one in the layaway at Wal-Mart. It won't be 60", 32", but still. I'll be ready for 2009.
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Big man lying on the ground
With a hole in his body
Where his life had been

Stupid Joke #1
A horse walks into a bar. Bartender goes, "Why the long face?" *rimshot*
There's more to come ladies and germs

I wonder what will surpass MP3 as the next way to listen to music?

I just put a couple of halogen lights in my bathroom and they make me look like I have jaundice.

I wish I could play piano.

Is Eric Clapton not the greatest living musican? For proof of his greatness, pick up his two tribute albums to Robert Johnson and "From The Cradle".

Flash animation on websites should be outlawed

Here's a wallpaper I made.

Am I the only one who wants the REAL Eddie Murphy back? I'm tired of this "family friendly" Murphy. I want the Eddie Murphy from his stand up special "Raw" back.

Women, can you be more vague when telling us men what you want?

The up, and down, side to having a mustache. The upside: if you're having a really good meal you might be lucky enough to get some in there to save for later. The downside: if you have a really bad cold you might be unlucky enough to get some in there for later. Think about it.

Why does everyone forget about Ringo when talking about the Beatles?

Stupid Joke #2
Why Did The Chicken Cross The Road?
To Get To The Other Side.

Jackie Chan is a good actor.

What the hell is up with white people using the word "Dog" in their nicknames? J-Dog, T-Dog, G-Dog. Come on. Listen to me "Dog", it's not cool, it's stupid.

http://tinyurl.com/8x59z
And when you're done with that, check out
http://tinyurl.com/2mnj2

Agranulocytosis
Noun
Circa 1927
An acute febrile condition marked by severe decrease in blood granulocytes and often associated with the use of certain drugs

Stupid Joke #3
What kind of gun is water most afraid of?
Assault Rifle (A Salt Rifle)

It's almost Christmas

*Honk, Honk*

Why do I keep falling for fads when I despise them so much?

As I'm getting older, I've noticed some things are changing. I'm almost 30 now and I've noticed that I'm listening to music I never would have 10 years ago. The Righteous Brothers, Tom Jones & Neil Diamond for example. And I find myself actually liking some of the newer sounds out there. Danko Jones, Gomez, Dirtie Blonde. I'm the guy who, not more than three years ago, was saying that if it's not 70's rock it's crap. Now I'm listening to Techo, House, Disco and the like. My taste in movies is also changing. I've never cared for Drama, and now I'm watching more and more of them. And I'm at the stage where I can't eat spicy food anymore. I eat a gordita and I'm in the bathroom for three days. Next thing I know I'll be waking up in the middle of the night to go to the bathroom.



Stupid Joke #4
I used to have super powers but my therapist took them away

I got my newsboy cap last year, now I want a driving cap. And not one of those Kangol ripoffs. The real one.

Old Spice is still the king

I itch

Lost in thought and lost in time
While the seeds of life and the seeds of change were planted
Outside the rain fell dark and slow
While I pondered on this dangerous but irresistable pastime

Is it wrong for a guy in his late 20's to still like cartoons?

Speech is the greatest interest and most distinctive achievement of man
-Norbert Wiener

Stupid Joke #5
He who laughs last, thinks slowest

Random Thoughts XIV: Dark Side Of The Thoughts

I'm such a whore
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How do you eat fruit cups that have either cherries or grapes in them? Do you just take a spoonful of fruit and eat it or, are you like me, and eat the pineapple and peaches and leave the cherries and grapes for last?

Am I the only one who hates it when there's a "special" co-host on Live With Regis And Kelly? I mean, when I watch I want to see Regis and Kelly, not Regis and Joy or Mark and Kelly.

Is anyone else already going through Star Wars withdraw?

Didn't you like the scene where the T-Rex pulled the man from the outhouse and ate him?

I had a dream last night.

I'm going to give myself one more year of blogging. Then, at the end of that year, if I haven't broken through, I'm going to give myself some more time.

That new Berries Cream Dr. Pepper is good.

I like The Monkees. Last Train To Clarksville and Stepping Stone are good songs and don't let anyone tell you any different.

I shold do spel chek more ofton.

I hate dial-up.

A-wop-bop-a-loo-bop-a-lop-bam-boom

Will you follow the white rabbit?
http://tinyurl.com/pqbff
http://tinyurl.com/7b4zd

Here's a strange fact. Bird poop makes grass grow 10x faster. Excellent fertilizer.


I found this picture at http://random-thoughts-and-whatnot.blogspot.com/2005/11/photos-of-interest.html. No lie. I wasn't even looking for the site, just a picture of a tree. Trippy. Click it for a 1024x768 wallpaper.

"Does this dress make my butt look big?" "No, the fat makes your ass look big, the dress just accentuates it."

Why do race car drivers make left turns? Why not right turn?

http://i2.tinypic.com/vdz48m.jpg
Here's a picture of Me with no clothes on. Do you dare look?

Filed under Miscellaneous

Technorati Tags: Random Thoughts, Dr. Pepper, Hummer

Random Thoughts XIII: Unlucky For Some

I'm trading in the Hummer. Unless I win Powerball it'll never happen. My new dream is to own this. I'm drooling already.
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Black people, unless you're Mr. T, a mohawk doesn't look good on you. Women, please don't shave your head.

I have a question. Why does it take a woman so long to make up her mind? She'll decide one thing looks good, then 10 minutes later she'll hate it. Please, make up your mind.

http://tinyurl.com/d39lp

I really love being half Cherokee. I honestly couldn't imagine not having this blood running through my veins. I love the history that comes with it. The pride. Being pure White sounds so boring. No offense to those that are. I only wish we weren't a dying race. Outside of my own family, I actually don't know another Indian. And in Oklahoma no less.

Frank is my favorite.

Ladies, I'm going to let you in on a secrete. We men, we don't like Valentine's Day. We hate it. If a man is saying all the right things, making all the right moves, it's because of only one reason. And it's not to be nice.

Why is it that on America's Funniest Home Videos if you have a kid in your video you have a 99% chance of winning? It could be the dumbest thing on the planet and the people there seem to vote for it. I think it's rigged.

Can someone please explain hockey to me.

MCMLXXIX


Nugent is the man!!!! Say what you will about him, there's no denying he's the most honest celebrity out there. He doesn't care who he offends or makes mad. And he's very up front about being happy to piss people off.

If the majority of this country is fat, why is it that everything is still made and geared to the skinny?

Does anyone watch Drawn Together on Comedy Central? Very funny. It seems that with Comedy Central they either hit a homerun, Reno 911 & Drawn Together, or completely strike out, The Daily Show and Colbet Report.

There's only one thing worse than people who dress their pets up in clothes, and that's people who hold wedding ceremonies for them.

I found out last weekend that I can't eat Mexican food anymore, at least without some Beano and Immodium AD. Damn aging.

Jean Reno is the only good thing to come out of France, and he's not even French.

I remember the year 1995.

non sequitur
Noun
1. An inference or conclusion that does not follow from the premises or evidence.
2. A statement that does not follow logically from what preceded it.

Why is it that men go absolutely braindead when we see a woman in her underwear but women don't do the same when they see men in theirs? Or at least to the same extent we do.

"War, huh, good God y'all, what is it good for? Absolutely nothing" Except the freedom of millions of people the world over.

00110001001110010011011100111001

They say there's no pain like giving birth. Well, I disagree. If a guy has ever been sitting down and leaned forward at just the wrong angle, there's some pain. Think about it.

Filed under Miscellaneous

RANDOM THOUGHTS XII: THE DIRTY DOZEN
It's been six months since I've done a RT post. I didn't know it was that long. Anyway, for those that don't know, Random Thoughts is a post I do every once and awhile where I just ramble on with any 'ol crap that's in my mind. Let's get started.

If you've been with me long enough, you understand that.That's the only true Hummer, but in black. That new H3 is a bastardized disgrace. Shame on you if you drive one.

Am I the only one who needs to read something while in the bathroom? Come one guys, don't leave me hanging here.

"I'm a smooth operator. A big dictator"

Speaking of bathroom, I hate it when I go to brush my teeth and the water is ice cold. I have sensitive teeth. That cold water hurts. I could just let it get hot, but that takes forever. Electric water heater. And if you've never had an electric water heater, you know nothing.

Does anyone else think it a little hypocritical when a radio station plays a "Happy Holiday" ad just before going into a Christmas song?

I wish I had Jedi powers. The Jedi Mind Trick rules.

http://tinyurl.com/e42m3. Do you want to take the chance? It could be a car site or it could be porn. Or it could be a site that teaches you how to make the best hot chocolate on the planet. Who knows. Do you risk it?

The War In Iraq isn't illegal. The first time Saddam violated the Gulf War truce we had every right to go in. So there.

How can anyone think Julia Roberts is good looking? She looks like a damn horse.

I tried to watch the original 1933 King Kong the other day... I fell asleep. I don't like black and white movies, except High Noon, 12 Angry Men and The Grapes Of Wrath. Other than those, b&w movies bore me.

I have an extra tooth.

tuo siht erugif uoy naC.

Does anyone here watch Hardball W/ Chris Matthews? Okay, stupid question. I want to know why he has such a hard on for this CIA "leak" "story". That's been his focus all week long. Trying to tell us the new info that's out there (re-hash). And going crazy wondering if Rove will go to jail. He's been asking everyone under the sun if Rove's going to prison. Do you thing Rove will be indicted. Will Rove go to jail? Yesterday for example, the headline on his story was something to the effect of Rove Indictment Today? I swear, if you watch him while he's talking about this you'll see his arm moving back and forth under his desk.

Why is the media, other than FNC, denying there's an attack on Christmas? According to them the only one's who believe there is are the ignorant Right-Wing Christian fundamentalist. I'm not a Christian, but I know there's an attack on Christmas.

Speaking of which, we've seen the stupidity of renaming the Christmas tree to Holiday tree. I wonder when the Left will rename the baby Jesus to Holiday Infant. Thanks to Jay Leno for that one.

Is Eric Clapton not a musical genius?



Kaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhnnnnn!!!!!!

See that scrollbar over on the right?

Did you know that Bob spelled backwards is Bob? Ponder that one.

Anyone remember Pogs and Slammers?

How about Dog Patch U.S.A? The Hillbilly Disney Land.

RANDOM THOUGHTS X RATED
Don't worry, the X only means it's my 10th Random Thoughts post. For those of you who don't know, Random Thoughts is where I post some of the nonsense that's in my mind. Let's get started, shall we.

First and foremost, the standard. I still want a 2005 Hummer. All black. GPS, 5 disc changer with my web address painted on the side. Sweet.

Who's still floating on cloud 9 after Republicans won the country, again?

If I leave here tomorrow
Would you still remember me?
For I must be traveling on, now,
'Cause there's too many places I've got to see.
If you're from the south, and you don't like Free Bird, you're not a real Redneck. Head to Wal-Mart.com and download the Lyve version of Free Bird for 88 cents. 12 minutes long and kicks ass.

Speaking of MP3's, does anyone own an iPod? How can you reason paying $99 for a new battery about once a year or so? That's just too much.

Again, speaking of Wal-Mart. Head over to your local store and pick up some d_skins. They're plastic covers for CDs to keep them from getting scratched. You can 5 of them for like $5 or 20 for $20.

Are you a gamer? Have you seen the new PS2? The thing looks awesome. About the size of an 8x10 sheet of paper, one inch thick and light as a feather.

Anyone else think black goes with any other color. Red, blue, green, yellow. It all looks good.

December 25, I return to San Andreas after a two month absence.

Fox News, give Michelle Malkin her own show.

Watching reruns of Full House and it amazed me that one of those little 5 year old girls was to grow up and become an anorexic drug addict. Weird.

Anyone still wondering what to get your favorite blogger for Christmas. I love the Blues.

I hate Blogger. Too many days were it won't let me post. I would go to another blog site, but I don't like the other free ones.

Can you believe it's already the last week of November. What happened to the year?

For my tenth RT post, I'm amazed at how much stuff I can still come up with. Well, that's all for now. I don't know when my next RT post will be, but my last was in July.
The Only Thing Necessary For Evil To Triumph
Is For Good Men To Do Nothing

RANDOM THOUGHTS I CAN'T BELIEVE I 8 THE WHOLE THING
Yes, it's finally here. Everyone's favorite post. Random Thoughts. For those new readers who've never seen this, it's just a post where I post random nonsense about what ever happens to be on my mind. My last one was in July, been way too long. So, on with the show.

The staple of Random Thoughts. I still want a Hummer. Still not the wimpy H2 either. The 10MPG badass Hummer.

For some reason I've been getting into Elvis music. It's weird. I've never like Elvis. Then I heard that Paul Oakenfold remix of Rubberneckin', and I've been listen to his music. I'm even thinking about buying my first Elvis CD.

Stop, Look and Listen. That's my philosophy.

STAR WARS.

If you're thinking about getting a dog, don't get a white one. I have a white dog. I give him a bath on Monday, he looks like he's a homeless stray by Wednesday. Damn dirt.

It's dark and cool outside. We had a shower today, and it really looks like a Fall day out there.

Who else likes to go out on an early Winter morning and take a deep breath of ice cold air?

I still think Fox News should give Michelle Malkin her own show.

After 8 years, I still miss my dad.

I ordered my Bush/Cheney 2004 yard sign yesterday. Have you?

I'm not big on kids. I don't hate them, they're just not my cup of tea.

C-3P0 from Star Wars Episode V: The Empire Strikes Back

"I really don't see how that's going to help. Surrender is a perfectly acceptable alternative in extreme circumstances"

Sounds like John Kerry, don't it.

I have 8 U.S. flag stickers on my computer, a 3x5 on my wall and a little flag on my desk.

Grand Theft Auto: San Andreas - October 22, 2004. Counting the days.

My minds spent. That's all for today, stay tuned some time before the election for part 9.


TERRY McAULIFFE IS A JACKASS
As well as any other Dem who thinks Carl Rove or the RNC would be behind the MemoGate documents. What's more plausible? That Republicans would do something that could possibly hurt Bush, or that Democrats would. Even someone with an I.Q. of 25 could figure this out.
The Only Thing Necessary For Evil To Triumph
Is For Good Men To Do Nothing

RANDOM THOUGHTS VII: IT'S AMAZING HOW MUCH JUNK'S IN MY MIND
Yes, it's that time once again for everyone's favorite post. Random Thoughts. For those readers who don't know, Random Thoughts is where I post some of the junk that's just floating around in my head. Let's get started.

The most consistent random thought. I STILL want a brand new, 2005 Hummer. All black. Nice.

Do any of you still watch cartoons? I'm not talking to you all with kids. I'm talking to those of you without kids. I do. There's one on Nick I like, Fairly Oddparents. Funniest damn thing. You should watch it some time.

I hate Summer. It' too damn hot. 97 today with a heat index of 105. I like Fall and Winter. Any temp below 70 is my ideal temp.

Do you say pop or soda where you live? Around these parts, we say pop.

My birthday's coming up in next month. I'll be posting a gift list sometime in the next couple of weeks.

Elephant - Big, Strong, Smart and Loyal
Jackass - Small, Stupid and Stubborn
No wonder Republicans are better.

Ladies and Gentlemen, your new Superman. This movie will suck ass. It's not Superman without Christopher Reeve. I wish they wouldn't make this.

Law & Order: SVU. Watch it.

Also watch Joe Schmo 2 on Spike TV. This is the best "reality" show out there. Monday nights at 10 CDT.

Click for the best director out there today.

Okay, that's all for now. But stay tuned for more Random Thoughts. Some Random time, but same Random blog.
The Only Thing Necessary For Evil To Triumph
Is For Good Men To Do Nothing