Friday, March 23, 2007

Random Thoughts XVIII: I'm Legal Baby

Happiness is a full stomach and an empty colon

Rock and Roll ain't noise pollution
Rock and Roll ain't gonna die
Rock and Roll ain't no pollution
Rock and Roll is just Rock and Roll

Today is February 24, 2007

Why am I the only one who knows how to properly load the dishwasher?

I hate fake Myspace profiles

Why do some women have extremely hairy forearms? That's weird

Are women really smarter than men? I don't think so. They do the same stupid things we do, except they:
A) Won't admit it
B) Don't tape themselves doing it

After a year of growing, I cut my hair yesterday. I finally had to admit to myself that it wasn't working. I'm sad

It should be illegal to be as hot as Halle Berry

If there's one thing I've learned in life, it's this. Don't mess with a Wookie

Call 1-800-Steamer. Stanley Steamer Makes Carpets Cleaner

I want to ride in a convertible just one time before I die

Why are some people so offended by peeing in the shower? What's the big deal. It's running water that's going down the drain. Let 'er rip.

Damn monkey stole my phone

Why do keep forgetting to put deodorant on after a shower? Believe me, I can't afford to do that

I'm starting to reach an age where I need a nap during the day

Along those same lines. I remember when I was actually able to stay up all night. I even looked forward to it. Now? I'm lucky if I can make 2am

Showering everyday? Sounds like Liberal propaganda to me

Why do kids look so dopey in glasses?

Hizzy Hell Yeah!!!

Water always tastes better after a mint or brushing your teeth

Why do so many Conservatives like Law & Order: SVU? The show doesn't like us, yet we keep going back week after week for more.

Don't you hate it when you you're thinking about doing something, you space out for just a single second, and forget what you going to do?

I've had the same wallet for almost 10 years now and it still smells brand new

Why do I sometimes spell "and" as "adn" or "the" as "teh" when I type?

We're so pretty
Oh so pretty, we're vacant

I love listening to sports fans who think they know more than the players, coaches or officials

Is a car battery REALLY more powerful than the 9V in my smoke detector? I think not

If you're going to get a tattoo of Chinese script, make sure you speak that dialect.
"Thank you. It means Peace and Respect."
"Oh, so sorry please, but it means 'Man With IQ Of 30.'"

Why do people who were born in the U.S., who speak perfect English, suddenly get all ethnic when saying a name from a different race? Spanish is the worse. You get a newscaster reporting on the fire at Juan Diego Pablo's House Of Tacos and all of a sudden he's from Villa Juarez even though he was born in Bolder, Colorado.

I'm a good cook, but get me near that oven to bake something and I'm lost

It's March 5, 2007

The man who invented the chili cheese fry should have his birthday celebrated

I thought they stopped making Pudding Pops


Obob said...

That is a very happy world you live in.
And I cannot agree more on peeing in the shower and chili cheese fries. Next should be the creator of the Monster burger from Hardees

Anonymous said...

"I'm starting to reach an age where I need a nap during the day"
No shame in that... by the way, they are called 'lectures'.

"Why do I sometimes spell "and" as "adn" or "the" as "teh" when I type?"
they are the classic typos... so much so that 'teh' was part of a title of an episode of Pure Pwnage (pwn/pwnage itself as a term is derived from a typo)

"Why do so many Conservatives like Law & Order: SVU? The show doesn't like us, yet we keep going back week after week for more."
It's because it gives conservatives a sense of reassurance that they are 'willing explore social issues' (a criticism of conservatives is that they aren't), (having watched a 42 minute dramatised story on a topic), thus leaving their consciences free to pursue their pre-decided, hard-line economic-based agendas.

Christopher Lee said...

Boy, you put way too much thought into that answer. Actually, it's because Elliot Stabler is the kind of detective that'll bitch slap a perp and not think twice about it. I like that.

Anonymous said...

"Elliot Stabler is the kind of detective that'll bitch slap a perp and not think twice about it. I like that."
Shit, that's almost every American cop show (which seems to be about a third of programs: take out cops, lawyers, and medics, and TV would be blank 90% of the time!
TV executives are traditionally too afraid of failure, so they try to 'use ideas that they know work' ('Recycling' rather than creating)

"you put way too much thought into that answer"
can't help it, 'the motor's' always ticking-over, even when it's in neutral
(but I know what you mean, I've got stacks of journals/diary's full of questions that shouldn't really be answered/thoughts that shouldn't be given a second thought

Anonymous said...

"you put way too much thought into that answer"
In all fairness, your question about 'law and order:SVU' is a valid question. It is anti conservative, so why would you go back for more?

Christopher Lee said...

For the same reason I listen to Pink Floyd and The Beatles. It's good.

Anonymous said...

I'm glad you cut your hair. You will look more respectable:)ht

Anonymous said...

good like the beatles and pink floyd?
('SVU' just ain't in the same league)
in thirty years 'law and order:SVU' (if anyone can remember it) will be thought of as just another in, what seems like, an endless stream of american cop/doc/lawyer shows (if that isn't the case now).
If your impression of america was based on US tv, you'd think it was a country populated solely by: cops, doctors, lawyer, rich teenagers, and serial-killers (and combinations thereof).

Anonymous said...

Naps are the best Chris...will keep you young and maybe prevent some of those space out moments.