Sunday, September 4, 2005
REDNECK LIFE
You've all seen me talk about being a redneck, you've probably even seen Jeff Foxworthy doing his redneck jokes. Well, for the benefit of you yankees and those of you outside the U.S. I thought I would give a little more insight into the redneck lifestyle. I small guide. Enjoy.

pool
Here we have the ultimate in luxury. The redneck swimming pool. On those hot days when even the dog won't come out from under the porch, you need something to cool off. If you don't have a truck, a trashcan works just a well.

gourmet
Here we have redneck gourmet food. Haught cuisine if you will. With cheap all you can eat buffets even uncle "bubba" will get his fill.

lawn
Here we see the finest in redneck lawn decoration. The more stuff in your front yard the better. If you can see the grass, you're not trying.

babysitter
Here we have the best redneck babysitter money can buy. Just plop them down and they're entertained for hours. Also good for husbands on Thankgiving and wives during the hours of 12 pm and 3 pm when her soaps are on.

wal-mart
Here we have the redneck's Macy's. And now with the Supercenters you can get your underwear and Tuesday night dinner all on one trip. Awesome.

mansion
And here we have the crowning achievement. The double wide mobile home. The redneck mansion. When you're lucky enough get your hands on one of these, you've made it baby. You're the king.

I hope this guide to redneck life has helped some. We may not have much, but what we have we'll defend with our lives, damnit.
The Only Thing Necessary For Evil To Triumph
Is For Good Men To Do Nothing

2 comments:

Greta (Hooah Wife) said...

have you ever seen Neal Boortz's redneck album? Are you calling yourself a redneck again?

Christopher Lee said...

Is that the name, Are you calling yourself a redneck again?, or are you asking me that?